Hard To Trust (Still I Try)

It's hard to trust, I ain't gon' lie Got my heart done dirtied down, they left it dry Every eye love you came with a lot Now I'm lookin' in your eyes askin', do I even try? Yeah, it's hard to trust, but still I try Got some crazy in my past that I can't deny You say you different, you say I'm your guy But my mind still whispers, she gon' say goodbye I ain't proud of the way that I flinch You reach from my hand, I pull back an inch You just tryna love, I'm stuck in defense Cause the last one time Every text is a suspense Where you at? Who you with? That's routine And she slept on me like a one-out dream Baby, you my world That was her scheme Then I saw her in the DMs on the same damn screen Out of date and ride or die Who only rode away? Said she had my back But she fronted every day Turned my secrets to ammo, my pain to a joke Turned forever to a meme She posted just to provoke Every good night texts feel like deja vu Cause I heard that same line from a heart that wasn't true So if I seem cold when you show me love It's cause crazy ex stories got me duckin' every hug You see a man in a hoodie with his walls up tight But there's a kid underneath who just wants it done right It's hard to trust, I ain't gon' lie Got my heart done dirty, damn they left it dry Every I love you came, came with a lie Now I'm lookin' in your eyes, askin' do I even try? Yeah, it's hard to trust, still I try Got some crazy in my past that I can't deny You say you different, you say I'm your guy But my mind still is, but she gon' say goodbye I had one break phones when the truth came out Key to car, hit the fam, try to run a mouth Every argument of war, every word of knife Felt like I was on trial just for livin' my life Another one place ain't with a halo on But she'd flirt in the group chat, soon as I was gone Post got first, then sent on repeat Tough forgiveness in the morning, hit the club by the week Now you walkin' with your soft brown eyes, sayin' I ain't her You don't blow up when I can't so you just replaying but drama got a funny way of messing up Peace got me looking for a problem that don't even exist You take slow ones and my tests feel tight like here we go again. It's another long night. Truth is I'm scared of a good one Cause if you really are real, then I could really lose you And it's easier to laugh like I don't care at all, then admit I'm still hurt from the last fall So if I pull back when you're showing up strong Stato goes saying, here's where it goes wrong But you keep standing there, patient in the storm And I'm asking God, help me trust what's pure, not the norm It's hard to trust, I ain't gonna lie Got my heart, then dirty, damn, they left it dry Every I love, yeah, came with a lie Now I'm looking in your eyes, asking, do I even try? Yeah, it's hard to trust, still I try Got some crazy in my past that I can't deny You say you different, you say I'm your guy But my mind still whispers, she gon' say goodbye Yeah, I could blame every hurt from my history book But I picked those pages, I ignore what they took Red flags waving like a halftime show But I loved how it felt, so I let it all go You ain't them, you ain't them And that scares me blind cause you hold doors, hold space, hold me in your mind You don't scream when you're hurt, you just speak your truth You ain't tryna go viral, you just tryna be proof, proof that good women Still exist on the map, who don't need 10 side texts for a little recap Who don't flex crazy just to feel like a prize Who could say I was wrong and look me dead in the eyes So I gotta meet you where you really at Now I drag you through the mud that my ex laid flat Can't treat you like the ones who tore my seams and say All women crazy when it's just those three learning I ain't gonna lie, got my heart in dirty damn, they left it dry Every I love, you can't win with a lie Now I'm lookin' in your eyes, askin' do I even try? Yeah, it's hard to trust, but still I try Got some crazy in my past that I can't deny You say you different, you say I'm your guy Can't I'm trainin' this time by myself, say good times, may bye