Scars In Your Hands

With the lights turned low, staring at the sink While my heartbeat froze Had a pocket full of methods just to make it through Everyone was just abandoned with the hole straight through I was scrolling in the shadows for a way to stop Feeling like a glitch in the world on top Take this drink that had the way you feel But nothing that I swallowed ever made me real Got a smile for the fam, got a mask for the crowd But inside my head, every thought screamed loud I said, God, if you're there, I'm about to snap And the only thing I heard was my own collapse in the wreckage cut through my fear I've already carried what you're drowning in here when my hands let go when my strength ran dry when the wind I've been pacing in the driveway with my keys in my fist Arguing with ghosts that don't exist Felt shame like a chain I could never run through Like every bad choice had a tag with my view Then you stepped in the dark I was drowning in With the holes in your wrists And the weight of my sin Didn't say try harder Didn't say be strong You said I was strong enough When they did me wrong Every cut that you hide when they nailed me here you don't have to fix what you can't control just give me the pieces and I'll hold your soul now the cravings and the voices still knocking my door but they don't own the deed to this heart When the poison lied you better off gone You were singing over me a different song I'm still broke and still learning how to land but I'm not I try needles, I try smoke, I try lapping off the joke I try running, I try hard, I try bleeding out his side But you walk where I couldn't, you blow where I couldn't You took my death, sent a snail to that plank Every lie that's said I still shake some nights when the dark feels loud When I walked out When my hands let go When my strength ran dry When the weight on my chest wouldn't let me cry You were holding my world when I couldn't stand Every piece of my life in the scars in your hands When the darkness says this is all you'll be I look back at that cross where you're glad for me I'm still healing still learning who I am And the proof I'm not alone are the scars